I've set this blog post to appear at 12 midnight on the first day of 2013. It's currently a week before the new year is to be welcomed, and I wanted to look back at the relationship that Randy and I have been keeping strong for a good 5 years and 3 months. However, the past few months have been challenging . A definite test of our relationship . . . and yet, a bigger understanding of how much I love this person.
It's crazy to think about the person I was five years ago. Without a doubt, I was different. Of course, you learn as you grow. Through Randy- I have discovered a lot about myself. At times, you wonder if you lose your identity with the relationship you're a part of. It's normal to question. People begin to associate who you are with the person you're dating. As I look back, it's true. I was influenced and even more so, I was infatuated.
I've discovered two things throughout the course of this relationship:
I. I am selfish
II. He is self-less.
The ability for me to see this difference opened my eyes completely. I began to understand the ways in which I was inhibiting my understanding of what it meant to love unconditionally. "Meet my needs, and we're good." This was the mentality of 16-20 year old Nikki. Selfish, right? However, the past two years have been the "transitional" phase: I am still learning to manage my expectations and meet his.
There's no real reason as to why I decided to blog about my relationship with Randy- other than, it's another year. . .and it's another year which I hope to show how much I appreciate who he was and the person he has become. We're different and alike in so many ways, it's freaky. We have a tendency to clash and then find a way to balance each other out. "Depth over distance."